May 6, 2008

A Long Time Coming

All righty, people. I'm weighing in on the whole Alltop, Sony, Johnson's Baby Camp Hullabaloo. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can probably skip down a few paragraph's where I'll fill you in on some other fascinating things going on in my life. Like how I'm TOTALLY famous thanks to The Bloggess. For real. But you'll have to wait for that.

First: Alltop: I TOTALLY do NOT belong on that site. That's not what Alltop is all about, it's not for my blog, not for my 8, 10, 12 or 16 on a really good day, comment level. I get that. I totally do. It's about the TOP blogs, the awesomest, most traffic'd, most visited, most commented, most loved blogs. I am not on that list. Fine. But, having said that, OF COURSE I'd love to be included. Listed with the likes of Playgroups Are No Place For Children, The Bloggess, Her Bad Mother, Plain Jane Mom, Girls Gone Child, Pioneer Woman, and other awesome ladies. Hello?! Who wouldn't want to be included. Of course I feel a little left out. I'm sure a lot of you do. But, whatev. The people included have worked their asses off to get there. They network, comment, email, re-comment, re-email, re-network and do it all over and over again day after day. That's not something I can commit myself to do, even if I wanted to. And I don't. I open up my Reader every morning with much anticipation and as soon as I see the "78 Unread" I get a knot in my stomach and I start to feel the guilt. Holy shit! How am I going to thoughtfully read and comment on all of these posts. All of which I WANT to read, not skim, and come up with something intelligent and meaningful to say. How can I possibly do all that AND write something for my own blog. It. Just. Can't. Happen. I've come to terms with that. I'm never going to be a "Big Blogger" because I just don't write anything interesting enough have the time to dedicate to making it happen. Maybe I'll start a website called "AllMediocre" and I can list to those of you who are like me. Anyone interested? Would I be infringing on some copyright thing? Is that offensive? Maybe I could convince The Bloggess to come up with a badge that reads something like "All Mediocre, Confirmation That I'm Just Okay" or "AllMediocre, All The Stuff That Does Suck" I'm just brainstorming here. Feel free to offer suggestions.

Second: Replying to comments. Another thing that fills me with dread and a sense of extreme Blog failure. Remember above when I told you that I can barely bring myself to look at the number of unread posts in my reader without suffering a severe case of hives? Responding to comments is something that causes severe ANGINA. I love you for reading, I love you for commenting. I REALLY REALLY REALLY DO. But the thought of having 30, 40, 50, 100 comments on ONE post gives me heartburn. How can anyone possibly respond to those comments? How do you keep a loyal readership without responding to comments? I feel like a bad mother if I don't respond every single time a new person leaves me a comment. And I only get 12 (maybe) comments a post. I don't think I could handle the stress of having a larger reader base.

Third: YES, I'm jealous I don't get invited to Johnson's Camp Baby and the Sony thing-y in LA. There, I said it. I'd LOVE to be included in shit like that. Who doesn't like free trips, hanging out with awesome lady bloggers, free drinks, and TONS of coll free stuff? Duh. But, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm pretty sure I'm not the sort of influential blogger they're looking for. And that's fine. It's FINE, I said. God. Stop effing bugging me about it. I said I was FINE!

Now on to other things going on in my life:

1) There is a caterpillar living on my basil plant in my kitchen. My basil plant is dying a slow, painful death. Dylan is attached to the caterpillar, so for the time being, that little fucker will NOT be dying a slow painful death. The Caterpiller, that is, not Dylan.

2) My kitchen cabinets now look like this:

Well, two of them anyway. For those of you not familiar with my kitchen, and/or organizational skills, trust me when I tell you that this is a VAST improvement.

4) Is anyone still with me?

5) Dylan just ate his first bowl of cereal "All by himself" If I hear the words "I can do it. All. by. my. self." one more time I'm going to start ripping my hair out. For reals.

6) Do you want to know why I'm totally famous now? The Bloggess featured one of my posts on her Good Mom/Bad Mom Blog. Do you see it there? Go down...down....down...almost to the bottom? Good. Keep Going...down...down. There! Right there! "I Wasn't This Crazy Before I Became A Mother"


7) Totally justified.


Jenny, the Bloggess said...

1. I adore you and can't stop laughing.

2. I hope it's totally normal to feel a little envy because I know I do sometimes. I never get invited to those camp things either and while I'm totally happy for those who do part of me is all "Damn. Whose house do you have to burn down to get a free plane trip? Apparently not the people whose houses I've burned down."

3. Alltop is great but being on it is largely a matter of chance. If you asked Guy to be on it when it was still new you got on super-easy but now it's getting full. I lucked out and asked before it was popular and have no doubt my days there are numbered.

4. Come clean my cabinets or I will burn down your house.

5. I'm to intimidated by my commenters to respond to my own comments. Seriously.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

And I want to know whose house I have to blow to get someone to do that to my kitchen cabinets!

Loralee Choate said...

Alltop isn't just for 'Top Blogs'. They also champion the underdog, too. There are a couple of blogs on there that only get a couple of

And? Jealousy is normal to feel. You are allowed to be happy other people got included and also feel annoyed as hell you aren't included.

And, and? I don't respond to all of my comments all the time. I can't. My head would explode and that wouldn't be good for anybody!

In otherwords? You're fine. Don't stress it.

Cathy said...

Wow. I feel the same way about your whole thing about always commenting, responding, etc. And with blogger I cannot respond to comments via email all the time, but you know that already.
And I'm usually pumping one boob while reading so commenting is out.
So yeah, I'm not building a huge readership - but I'm trying (like you) not to stress about it or worry about it or whatev.

Z said...

I'll totally join you on AllMediocre, and be proud of it! ;)

EatPlayLove said...

I think you should read A New Earth. won on my blog, doesn't that count for something? Chuckle, laugh, haha..tee hee!!

HRH said...

I want to point out that I have been on Alltop for one week (after begging) and NOT RECEIVED ONE SINGLE VISITOR FROM THAT SITE. Woah! Hold back the traffic.

You totally deserve to be there. I can understand reader angina and comment fatigue.

I'll dump the super highway Alltop as soon as you get the AllMediocre up and running. I promise.

Oh and POOR BASIL. What do you have against herbs? That is herb abuse.

I saw you on Good Mom/Bad Mom...too cool. and The Bloggess always likes your comments beter. Not that I am bitter or anything...

Jennifer H said...

Sign me up for AllMediocre.

Have you heard of the League of Extraordinary Wives? Well, I decided that I was maybe better suited to a group called...of course...The League of Mediocre Wives. I could totally run a joint like that. Well, it would be kinda half-assed, actually.

I saw you on Good Mom/Bad Mom, too... I'd say you're doing great if you made that group of posts!

Heather (A Mama's Blog) said...

Great post, and I SO agree w/you on the blogging thing- it is more than a full-time job trying to promote your blog, and personally, with 2 kids under the age of 5, working part-time, I just don't have the time.

I started my blog so I could have a place where I jotted down things my boys did, and also things that interest me. I never started thinking I was going to become a "super blogger" or be invited to company focus groups, etc.

I would like to have my blog grow (of course)), but I'm not going to devote every spare minute I have to it. If something like that ever happens, fine, if not I'm happy too, but I'll join you in the AllMedicore. :-)

JCK said...

Forget ALLTOP! You were featured on Good Mom/Bad Mom. Do you KNOW what you have to do to be featured on that!!! You have to be funny and lovely. You have to be you! And that is why we love you. You're the WOMAN!

And...I am VERY intimidated by those 2 shelves. VERY.

Angie said...

All Mediocre - I AM SO IN! There are many areas in my life where I strive for mediocrocy and I have no clue how to spell that.

Speaking of not having time for replying to comments and network the blog, I do not have time to read all your links. DA-AMN! That takes so much effing time.

Plastic is so hard to organize in cupboards. And did I just say cupboard? Who says cupboard these days?


Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children said...

First of all, I'd like to say thank you for including me as a "Big Blogger," which I TOTALLY DO NOT see myself as. I guess it's just a matter of perspective. I think I'm on Alltop because I emailed them when it first came out and asked to be included. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't be listed.

There is A LOT of work that goes into blogging. I think that success lies in the writing, though, eventually. Sure when you begin it's all about linking and commenting and blah, blah, blah, but for people who are truly talented, the writing is what keeps them at the top. Which is probably why I SO GET how HARD the "business" of blogging is, I can't rely on my writing.

Phew. All that said and what I'm trying to get at is that you really are a good writer and an entertaining blogger/storyteller. Keep it up and I'd almost bet that you'll have legions of followers and be featured on Alltop and invited to dazzling parties. It just takes time.

Now onto replying to comments. I guess it's something that I enjoy because so much of what I say is about starting a conversation or asking a question. I feel COMPELLED to reply to many of my comments because they've made a good point or asked a pertinent question.

I've never been invited to any of those things either and YES, I"M FINE. FINE! *ahem*

This concludes my longest (and most incoherent) comment ever.

Thank you and good day.

Amanda said...

I am with you. Also I am with Angie on the plastics thing. The darn lids keep falling on my head when I try to get something out of THAT cupboard. I get frustrated and swear at it every time. Isn't plastic supposed to make our lives more convieniant?