Surprise!

Invitation courtesy of Invitation Consultants

Who Am I Going To Piss Off? Oh Good! Everyone!

I wasn't going to post today, because truth be told, I'M SO OVER THE INTERNET AND LOOKING AT THIS DAMN COMPUTER SCREEN I WANT TO SCREAM, but then I saw something and that made me think of something else, and I knew I just HAD to visit with y'all today. Especially since my Google Reader has 187 unread posts and I haven't even added my new AlMediocre buddies to it...Gah! I'm so behind in the blog world, it's scary. Scary I tell you.

BUT, I did stop by my trusty Google Reader to check in and I found this waiting for me and it totally made my day. You all know and love Bossy, or at least I assume you do, because who doesn't love Bossy?

Apparently the answer to that is "Linda" who had this to say about that there post:

"Well, done reading Bossy...it was a nice time, but it's just not worth it anymore."
Posted by: Linda May 21, 2008 at 10:40 AM

Do you think she meant:

1) Done reading Bossy because she's offended about the vaginas, lesbians & pedophile Republicans Bossy talked about?

or

2) Done reading Bossy because she was holding out hope that Bossy wasn't actually straight and that she might one day end up as Bossy's future husband?

I just can't be sure. But, one thing I AM sure of is that Linda needs to pull that stick out of her ass. She might like people, ALL people, better if she was more comfortable. I'm just sayin'.

On a totally unrelated, but somehow connected (?) topic, one of the members of AllMediocre put this picture on her website the other day and it cracked me up. It probably shouldn't have cracked me up, but COME ON...who designed that thing? Really? And by that I mean, what person designed the light switch to make it look like Jesus is sharing his wang with two small children? Not more cosmically/biblically, like who designed the wang to begin with? That's a good question, though. I mean, there are a few design flaws. But that's another discussion for another time.

On ANOTHER totally unrelated note, Tahoe just licked all the bacon fat out of the foil in the kitchen garbage can. Now he's banished to the dining room so that when he throws up I can clean it up easily. Nice.

And? And?! In the latest "Developments of Baby Zach" series: He has a tooth! A real, honest to goodness, I can feel it when I stick my finger in his mouth, tooth! And he's a champion army-crawler and also eats cheese. Real cheese. I'd share the 2.5 minute video I took of him eating cheese with you, but I'm pretty sure I've lost a few subscribers already and I'd like to hold on to the rest of you for a little while longer!

Make Me Laugh Monday - Brothers!

Because there's nothing quite as sweet as a baby's laughter. And because the boys are FINALLY enjoying each other's company. I'm sure it won't last long, so I want to enjoy it while it does! I hope you do too!

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books Happy Monday! Now go visit Absolutely Bananas for more Make Me Laugh Monday and don't forget to head over to AllMediocre and join in on the fun!

Weekly Winners 5.18.08

I've been so busy I haven't taken many pictures lately. But, with the arrival of Zach's first tooth, I've been trying to get a shot of it. And with the arrival of stellar weather, we've spent a bit of time outside. I managed to get a few good shots...they're just kid heavy! Enjoy!

It's Not You...It's Meme

Heather, from A Mama's Blog tagged me, 12 years ago, for a Meme. I've been busy...and am just now getting around to it.

But wait. I started to think about it and I realized I've done this one. Back in December. When I had even fewer readers than I do now! Like, NONE! Or so I assume because It got NO comments. So, click on over and check it out. You just might learn a thing or two about me. And believe me, I'm interesting.

In other news, playgroup was a smashing success. Dylan even solidified his leading man status when he confirmed his love for his girlfriend M. The boy's got good taste, cause she's DAMN cute. And when she left he blew her a kiss. And then she hugged him and, after a little encouragement, he hugged her back and did a little squeeze and lift action. Like when he's a football player in high school and after the game his cute little cheerleader girlfriend comes up to him and gives him a hug and he picks her up clear off the ground while hugging her. Like that, except that they're three and he wasn't dirty & sweaty and she's not a cheerleader. Or his girlfriend. Am I getting ahead of myself here?

Also, if you're going to have a bunch of 2-3 year old-ish kids around, I HIGHLY recommend investing in a slushie maker. Mine is the Slushie Express from Target. It kept those kiddos happy, quiet and, more importantly, OUTSIDE for quite a while. The mom who's hosting next week asked if I'd bring it to her house.

On a completely unrelated topic...

If you've been wondering about Baby Emily, here's a snippet of the most recent update from her Care Pages site:
(She had emergency brain surgery a few weeks ago due to a sudden increase in the size of the tumor.)
***
We are out of the ICU and happy to be back up on the 9th floor. Emily continues to get stronger every day but she has a tough battle. Her white blood cell counts have been at or around zero for a couple of days but are now officially on the rise. She is dealing with agitation from the surgery and a pretty severe case of mucositus from the chemotherapy. She is also beginning to lose her hair. Emily had another seizure last night and temporarily lost motion in her right hand in what can be called Todd's Paralysis, which is the weakness of the part of the body affected by the seizure. She has now fully regained motion in her right arm and the CT scan she had last night came back clean. It appears as though her brain is still going through some settling and the seizures are just one symptom. We are managing the seizures with Kepra and Adivan but hope that they will stop once her brain settles.
***
There is an ongoing effort to raise money for the family. In addition to direct donations, you can also order an Emily Bracelet, here's the info for that:

The bracelets are solid green (Emily’s favorite color!) and say Emily Faith Hope Love with tiny hearts between each word. They are adult size (not youth size). The bracelets are $5.00 each, but any donations above this amount certainly are welcome! ALL proceeds - 100% - will go into the Emily Anne Mandell Fund at Bank of America. Checks should be made to Alan Levin.

To order your own, please send a SELF ADDRESSED STAMPED envelope to:

Alan Levin
6319 Mayfield Lane
Warrenton, VA 20187

The bracelets weigh 2 ounces each, so please figure the weight when calculating how much postage to put on the envelope.
***

SO! I suppose that's it for now. If you haven't signed up for AllMediocre, what in the hell are you waiting for? It's free! It's fun! Plus, we're going to be getting a mention on The Bloggess' Good Mom/Bad Mom blog! SO...get yourself signed up before that happens so you can be in on the action! Now! Go!

Prepare Your Ovaries...

Here she is! My niece Naomi!

I KNOW!!! Right? Look at those toes! And that fuzzy little head! In that second picture she looks just like my sister. Which is good. Both because she's a girl and because her big brother is the spitting image of his dad.

I'm dying that I don't get to see her anytime soon. I've been searching airfares trying to find something that was justifiable. No such luck. Especially when you factor in bringing 1 (or 2) children with me and the fact that I'd also have to rent a car. Costs add up fast. I'm going to start playing the lottery. Keep your fingers crossed for me, KThanks!

In other news, and because I'm sure you're sick of hearing about it...I need HELP over at the other site. Pretty please? Thanks, lovelies!

Well, I'm off to clean my carpets in preparation for a gaggle of pre-schoolers descending upon my house tomorrow. I'm going to be baking as well. This recipe from Cooking Light. Grandmaother and my Aunt gave it two thumbs up. Or this one, which I found while I was searching for the link for the other one. I'm a sucker for anything lemon...and almond. I suppose it will depend on if I can find almond paste and how much it costs. Sounds like I have quite the exciting day planned! Enjoy your day!

Gah! A BABY!

I HAVE A NIECE! A NIECE! And she's perfect, and beautiful and...OMG. It's killing me, KILLING me that I can't see her right now. Right now, this very minute, I want to see her and give her kisses and buy her cute, adorable, pink flower-y things.

Oh...and remember the whole naming debacle? She has a perfect name as well. Naomi Louise, after her paternal grandmothers. Which is totally fine, because their 1st born son was named after his maternal grandfather. Share & share alike, right?

SO, sweet little Naomi came into the world tonight following lots of drama. The best laid plans for a fun Mother's Day were rudely interrupted by a rear-ending, followed by a trip to the hospital for monitoring, followed by some signs of labor, followed by no signs of labor, followed by full-on labor induction, followed by an epidural, followed by HOURS of waiting around for SOMETHING to happen. And then it did, and all 6lbs, 4 ozs of perfect-ness arrived. Aww...I'll share photos when I've got some non-goopy ones to share. You're welcome.

On another front, I've somehow managed to TOTALLY fuck up AllMediocre! And it's only been TWO days! T.W.O. DAYS! I think that's an all time record. Hopefully I can figure that out tomorrow. Because right now? Right now I'm off to bed.

Oh, and if The Bachelor (which I haven't watched until tonight BTW) picks the blonde girl, I'm going to throw up.

It's Official...I'm AWESOME

Totally.

AllMediocre

Spread the word! Please?!

Oh-- and Happy Mother's Day to all you lovely Momma's out there! Muah!

Coming Soon To An Internet Near You

AllMediocre.com! WHOOT WHOOT!

Guy K gave me the green light and promised (not in so many words) to NOT sue my ass off for copying his website. Kinda. Hopefully that will hold up in court.

Details to follow, after I pull my head out of my ass and figure out what the HELL AllMediocre.com is going to be exactly!

I have lots of ideas. LOTS.

Oh..and the chocolate buffet? Lived up to it's awesome sounding-ness. Mmmmm....

AND- get your skinny little asses over to Pioneer Woman's site and enter her contest! You have until 10pm Pacific time tonight. Trust me, you don't want to miss it! AND, if MY slot machine luck works out, one of you will win! So GO YOU!

AllMediocre or MediocreMomBlogs?

I kid you not. I'm totally serious. I need opinions. And advice. Does AllMediocre cross some sort of copyright infringement line? If I ask nicely will GuyK let me use it without suing my ass for all I'm not worth? (Here's some background if you missed my post a few days ago)

See, here's the problem:

AllMediocre is funny because it copies Alltop, and therein lies the problem. It copies Alltop. MediocreMomBlogs removes the whole Alltop copying thing, but it doesn't have the same ring to it. PLUS, MediocreMomBlogs sounds kind of mean if you don't know the original idea was AllMediocre. And it all sounds stupid if you're reading this and are like, WTF is Alltop and what in the hell is she talking about today? And who's this Dooce person?

Anyway, give me your thoughts. I'm not above emailing Guy K and asking if he'll kindly let me rip-off Alltop so I can make fun of it and myself a little.

Oh, and on a whole other topic...does anyone out there know anything about starting a website (on the $4.32 I have budgeted for it)? KThanks.

And OH! P.S. I'm going out with my MOMs Club friends tonight to a Chocolate Buffet. YES...I just used those two words in the same sentence. And there's a person's whose JOB it is to DIP your pound cake/strawberries/bananas FOR YOU. Mmmmmm....I'll see you back here tomorrow 35 pounds heavier and oh so very happy.

I Have Questions For You...

Did y'all see what happened here the other day? You prob'aly din't. (I have NO IDEA why I just typed that sentence that way, I just felt like it.) Anyway, BOSSY left a comment. You know...BOSSY. I almost spit out my iced tea when I saw her name pop up. I haven't been able to delete the email that says "Bossy has left a comment..." because it's just. too. awesome. If you're not sure who Bossy is, you don't know what you're missing. My sister, though, apparently knows who Bossy is.

As her comment on my recent post points out, and I quote: "That was pretty funny, but I still think I enjoyed Bossy's reenactment of the Oprah/Cruise interview more . . . http://www.iambossy.com/i_am_bossy/2008/05/for-those-of-yo.html"

WHAT.EV, Biatch. In her defense she asked me yesterday if that was "In poor form" or something like that. As in "Should I NOT have linked to a blog that I think is funnier than yours on a day when you were attempting to post something funny?" Ya think? But, it IS a funny post and it IS Bossy, so I let it slide. Just this once.

In other commenting news, my idea for AllMediocre seems to be receiving a lot of support. And by a lot, I mean that half of you (the ones not already listed on Alltop) thought it was a GREAT idea. And one of you even offered to defect. I think you were just being nice, but I'll take it anyway. I'll have to put some thought into this whole crazy idea. You all thought I was being all tongue-in-cheek and self-deprecating...just you wait, my friends, just you wait. I've got plans...big plans.

AND, in other, "I've Got Plans, BIG Plans" news, did I mention that I'm not going to BlogHer and that it makes me shed a tear or two every time I think of it? Especially since it's a hop, skip & a jump away for me? Gah! I have an idea for that as well. But it's just an idea so far and if it ends up being just as expensive as actually going to BlogHer it won't end up happening. And I want to go to the People's Party, damn it. There're going to be awesome people there. Damn. I hate missing out on a good party. Plans, people, I've got plans. Oh, and if any of you are driving up the 101 to get to San Francisco, you're welcome to come over and hang out. Or use my bathroom, or whatever. I'll even clean it for you.

Now for my questions:

1) Are you going to BlogHer?
2) If so, would you be willing to participate in a drinking game dedicated to me?
3) Do you read Dooce?
4) If so, you read this. If not, go read it. (I realize that's not a question)
5) Did you see her on the Today Show today? Did you want to slap Kathy Lee too?
6) Do you ALWAYS want to slap Kathy Lee & today was no different?
7) I'm in need of song suggestions to add to my IPod. So...what 4 songs, in your opinion, can my IPod NOT live without? It's heavy with Colbie Caillet and Leona Lewis. I need some music from peeps who's first & last name start with different letters. You know, just to change it up a bit.

And I leave you with this video of Zach. He's a mover and a shaker now and is quite determined to get at what ever toy (or TV remote) catches his eye. He also makes this really funny face when he's excited and breathes really fast out of his nose, which makes a funny noise. It's adorable and makes me want to nibble on his cheeks every time.

A Long Time Coming

All righty, people. I'm weighing in on the whole Alltop, Sony, Johnson's Baby Camp Hullabaloo. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can probably skip down a few paragraph's where I'll fill you in on some other fascinating things going on in my life. Like how I'm TOTALLY famous thanks to The Bloggess. For real. But you'll have to wait for that.

First: Alltop: I TOTALLY do NOT belong on that site. That's not what Alltop is all about, it's not for my blog, not for my 8, 10, 12 or 16 on a really good day, comment level. I get that. I totally do. It's about the TOP blogs, the awesomest, most traffic'd, most visited, most commented, most loved blogs. I am not on that list. Fine. But, having said that, OF COURSE I'd love to be included. Listed with the likes of Playgroups Are No Place For Children, The Bloggess, Her Bad Mother, Plain Jane Mom, Girls Gone Child, Pioneer Woman, and other awesome ladies. Hello?! Who wouldn't want to be included. Of course I feel a little left out. I'm sure a lot of you do. But, whatev. The people included have worked their asses off to get there. They network, comment, email, re-comment, re-email, re-network and do it all over and over again day after day. That's not something I can commit myself to do, even if I wanted to. And I don't. I open up my Reader every morning with much anticipation and as soon as I see the "78 Unread" I get a knot in my stomach and I start to feel the guilt. Holy shit! How am I going to thoughtfully read and comment on all of these posts. All of which I WANT to read, not skim, and come up with something intelligent and meaningful to say. How can I possibly do all that AND write something for my own blog. It. Just. Can't. Happen. I've come to terms with that. I'm never going to be a "Big Blogger" because I just don't write anything interesting enough have the time to dedicate to making it happen. Maybe I'll start a website called "AllMediocre" and I can list to those of you who are like me. Anyone interested? Would I be infringing on some copyright thing? Is that offensive? Maybe I could convince The Bloggess to come up with a badge that reads something like "All Mediocre, Confirmation That I'm Just Okay" or "AllMediocre, All The Stuff That Does Suck" I'm just brainstorming here. Feel free to offer suggestions.

Second: Replying to comments. Another thing that fills me with dread and a sense of extreme Blog failure. Remember above when I told you that I can barely bring myself to look at the number of unread posts in my reader without suffering a severe case of hives? Responding to comments is something that causes severe ANGINA. I love you for reading, I love you for commenting. I REALLY REALLY REALLY DO. But the thought of having 30, 40, 50, 100 comments on ONE post gives me heartburn. How can anyone possibly respond to those comments? How do you keep a loyal readership without responding to comments? I feel like a bad mother if I don't respond every single time a new person leaves me a comment. And I only get 12 (maybe) comments a post. I don't think I could handle the stress of having a larger reader base.

Third: YES, I'm jealous I don't get invited to Johnson's Camp Baby and the Sony thing-y in LA. There, I said it. I'd LOVE to be included in shit like that. Who doesn't like free trips, hanging out with awesome lady bloggers, free drinks, and TONS of coll free stuff? Duh. But, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm pretty sure I'm not the sort of influential blogger they're looking for. And that's fine. It's FINE, I said. God. Stop effing bugging me about it. I said I was FINE!

****
Now on to other things going on in my life:

1) There is a caterpillar living on my basil plant in my kitchen. My basil plant is dying a slow, painful death. Dylan is attached to the caterpillar, so for the time being, that little fucker will NOT be dying a slow painful death. The Caterpiller, that is, not Dylan.

2) My kitchen cabinets now look like this:

Well, two of them anyway. For those of you not familiar with my kitchen, and/or organizational skills, trust me when I tell you that this is a VAST improvement.

4) Is anyone still with me?

5) Dylan just ate his first bowl of cereal "All by himself" If I hear the words "I can do it. All. by. my. self." one more time I'm going to start ripping my hair out. For reals.

6) Do you want to know why I'm totally famous now? The Bloggess featured one of my posts on her Good Mom/Bad Mom Blog. Do you see it there? Go down...down....down...almost to the bottom? Good. Keep Going...down...down. There! Right there! "I Wasn't This Crazy Before I Became A Mother"

7) Totally justified.

Cake or Death?

It's Monday! And you know what's even better than that (except for almost anything!?)? It's Make Me Laugh Monday! And you know what's even better than THAT? I REMEMBERED this week! Unlike last week. Duh. And, because I like to provide full disclosure, I didn't actually remember, until I saw Plain Jane Mom's MMLM post on my reader this morning.
Doh!

So...this is what I would have contributed last week, had I remember I had something to contribute. Or that there was something to contribute TO.

There may or may not be a few bad words peppered in here and there. I'd sit down and watch it again but I'm already running late, since I didn't plan on writing a post today and here I am writing one and I have three boys to pack up and take to Santa Barbara for the day.

Anyhoo, I first saw this a few weeks ago over at Greeblemonkey, who just happens to be an Eddie Izzard loving soul sister. If you don't know who Eddie Izzard is, you're missing out because he is FUNny! There's nothing better than an Eddie Izzard routine, unless it's set to Lego characters. Then it's somehow even better! Enjoy!


More next week, if I remember! And if you want more this week, head over to Absolutely Bananas!

*If you're a MMLM participant...I'm off the computer for most of the day today, but I'll try my bestest to check out your MMLM post this week! Sorry! Thanks! MUAH!

Playing Tourist- Weekly Winners 5/4/08

This week we did the tourist bit in Santa Barbara. Although it's all old news to me at this point, I have to remind myself that it's all new to Dylan. SO, with that bit of motherly thinking, we packed up and saw the sights. The Mission, Mission Rose Garden, Pier, Sea Center & lastly, Member's Night at the Zoo. It was awesome. We wish you could have joined us. Perhaps sometime soon?! Because you're totally invited.

Cousins

Now go visit Lotus (and leave her some love, she needs it right now) for more Weekly Winners.

P.S. Next week, we'll continue our tour of Santa Barbara. The plan is to visit the Botanical Gardens...hopefully that will actually happen.

Friday "Recipe" 5-2-08

I teased you about it yesterday. I know it's been occupying your thoughts. Every waking moment, you've been wondering, just dying to know, WHAT my crazy dinner concoction was. What titillating bit of food wizardry am I going to throw your way this time? Well, my dears, without further ado, here you go:


Soft Tacos. I KNOW! I'm awesome. Something totally new, cutting edge, trendy. But these aren't just any soft tacos. They're special. Special Soft Tacos. That's what they are. Just for you. Meg's Special Soft Tacos.


Here's what you need:


1 lb. ground beef (or turkey if you so desire)
Taco Seasoning
1 package burrito size flour tortillas
1 package pre-shredded cheese
1 package Fresh Express Salsa Ensalada Supreme


Other items you may wish to have on hand:


Hot Sauce
Taco Sauce
Beans
Rice


Here's what to do:


Brown the meat & season according to package directions.
Warm the tortillas for 1 minute in the microwave, between wet paper towels
Mix ONLY the Lettuce and the Salad Dressing


Now, make your tacos! My prep went like this:

Tortilla with meat. Followed by cheese (so it can melt). Followed by lettuce w/ dressing. Followed by tortilla strips, salsa, taco sauce & hot sauce (or whatever combination of this you so choose.) Simply replace the meat with beans and/or rice and you've got a yummy, flavorful veggie soft taco/burrito type thingy. Couldn't be any easier...and the best part?! The salad dressing isn't THAT fattening. At least not as fattening as other salad dressings.


There you have it! Okay. So I know that now that I've BLOWN YOUR MINDS with my ingenious combination of soft taco/burrito/salad, you're wondering just how I came up with this idea. It's simple enough. The grocery store had a coupon for $4.00 off your purchase if you picked up ground beef, shredded cheese, a salad kit and a pack of tortillas. $4.00 is a nice savings right now, what with blasted grocery prices being so high, so I hopped on it. As I got the lettuce out for the soft tacos and the salad out to have with the tacos, I thought to myself "Self, why use two different lettuces? Why not just use the Salsa Ensalada Supreme Salad as the lettuce for your taco's and kill two birds with one stone?" "Why SELF!" I exclaimed (in my head) "That's a FABULOUS idea!" and another meal was born unto my household. Plus, I even REMEMBERED to use the coupon when I got to the grocery checkout, so double score!

I must leave you now. But don't forget to read my post from yesterday. It's filled with lots of stuff that's probably only funny if you were there for it and none of you were. Well, maybe a couple of you were, but most of you weren't. So, it might not be funny. But I do request your advice and I know how much you love giving advice.