All righty, people. I'm weighing in on the whole Alltop, Sony, Johnson's Baby Camp Hullabaloo. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can probably skip down a few paragraph's where I'll fill you in on some other fascinating things going on in my life. Like how I'm TOTALLY famous thanks to The Bloggess. For real. But you'll have to wait for that.
First: Alltop: I TOTALLY do NOT belong on that site. That's not what Alltop is all about, it's not for my blog, not for my 8, 10, 12 or 16 on a really good day, comment level. I get that. I totally do. It's about the TOP blogs, the awesomest, most traffic'd, most visited, most commented, most loved blogs. I am not on that list. Fine. But, having said that, OF COURSE I'd love to be included. Listed with the likes of Playgroups Are No Place For Children, The Bloggess, Her Bad Mother, Plain Jane Mom, Girls Gone Child, Pioneer Woman, and other awesome ladies. Hello?! Who wouldn't want to be included. Of course I feel a little left out. I'm sure a lot of you do. But, whatev. The people included have worked their asses off to get there. They network, comment, email, re-comment, re-email, re-network and do it all over and over again day after day. That's not something I can commit myself to do, even if I wanted to. And I don't. I open up my Reader every morning with much anticipation and as soon as I see the "78 Unread" I get a knot in my stomach and I start to feel the guilt. Holy shit! How am I going to thoughtfully read and comment on all of these posts. All of which I WANT to read, not skim, and come up with something intelligent and meaningful to say. How can I possibly do all that AND write something for my own blog. It. Just. Can't. Happen. I've come to terms with that. I'm never going to be a "Big Blogger" because I just don't write anything interesting enough have the time to dedicate to making it happen. Maybe I'll start a website called "AllMediocre" and I can list to those of you who are like me. Anyone interested? Would I be infringing on some copyright thing? Is that offensive? Maybe I could convince The Bloggess to come up with a badge that reads something like "All Mediocre, Confirmation That I'm Just Okay" or "AllMediocre, All The Stuff That Does Suck" I'm just brainstorming here. Feel free to offer suggestions.
Second: Replying to comments. Another thing that fills me with dread and a sense of extreme Blog failure. Remember above when I told you that I can barely bring myself to look at the number of unread posts in my reader without suffering a severe case of hives? Responding to comments is something that causes severe ANGINA. I love you for reading, I love you for commenting. I REALLY REALLY REALLY DO. But the thought of having 30, 40, 50, 100 comments on ONE post gives me heartburn. How can anyone possibly respond to those comments? How do you keep a loyal readership without responding to comments? I feel like a bad mother if I don't respond every single time a new person leaves me a comment. And I only get 12 (maybe) comments a post. I don't think I could handle the stress of having a larger reader base.
Third: YES, I'm jealous I don't get invited to Johnson's Camp Baby and the Sony thing-y in LA. There, I said it. I'd LOVE to be included in shit like that. Who doesn't like free trips, hanging out with awesome lady bloggers, free drinks, and TONS of coll free stuff? Duh. But, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm pretty sure I'm not the sort of influential blogger they're looking for. And that's fine. It's FINE, I said. God. Stop effing bugging me about it. I said I was FINE!
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Now on to other things going on in my life:
1) There is a caterpillar living on my basil plant in my kitchen. My basil plant is dying a slow, painful death. Dylan is attached to the caterpillar, so for the time being, that little fucker will NOT be dying a slow painful death. The Caterpiller, that is, not Dylan.
2) My kitchen cabinets now look like this:
Well, two of them anyway. For those of you not familiar with my kitchen, and/or organizational skills, trust me when I tell you that this is a VAST improvement.
4) Is anyone still with me?
5) Dylan just ate his first bowl of cereal "All by himself" If I hear the words "I can do it. All. by. my. self." one more time I'm going to start ripping my hair out. For reals.
6) Do you want to know why I'm totally famous now? The Bloggess featured one of my posts on her Good Mom/Bad Mom Blog. Do you see it there? Go down...down....down...almost to the bottom? Good. Keep Going...down...down. There! Right there! "I Wasn't This Crazy Before I Became A Mother"
