November 28, 2007

I Need a Vibrater..

NO...not THAT kind. I need for someone to invent something that can attach to a Co-Sleeper and vibrate it for me. So that I don't have to lie next to it, with my foot on the edge, and shake it. WHY, you ask, would I need to this?

Because, Zach HAS to be moving to fall asleep. That's why the swing is so popular in our house. That's why, when we're at "work" I contort into awful positions so that I can use my leg to "bounce" his seat, which is behind me while I sit at the desk. That's why, when we're at GP & Poppy's house I spend an inordinate amount of time in the Glider, or, as was necessary yesterday, I sat on the couch and jiggled his (regular) Boppy until he fell into a sound slumber. That's why, a la Britney, I run red lights when we're in the car*. Because if we stop, he'll wake up and fuss.

I'm sure this is all my fault. I'm sure that when he was a newborn, I discovered that movement lulled him into precious sleep and I totally exploited it. Hell, I would have done ANYTHING to get him to sleep while Dylan was napping, simply so that I could nap too. Now, I'm paying for it. I'm being punished by the universe for exploiting my son's weaknesses. He could't resist the Newborn Lounger, so I used it, shamelessly, for a good night's sleep. He couldn't resist the constant, back and forth movement of the "Magic" swing, so I used it, again shamelessly, to get a few good minutes of daytime shuteye myself.

Last night, I paid. I paid big time. I made the decision to start "making" him sleep flat on his back. (I make it sound like it's some sort of baby torture) No more Newborn Lounger at night. SO, do you know what happened? I ended up being awake half the night jiggling my foot against his co-sleeper in an effort to get him to fall asleep, and more importantly, STAY asleep. OMG, it seemed like I jiggled FOR HOURS. It probably wasn't, but it seemed like it. And from the state of my brain today, it certainly had some sort of effect.

SO, if any of you know of any vibrating thingy-majiggy that will allow me to sleep tonight instead of being a personal vibrater (that sounds really bad, doesn't it?!), I'd love it if you would let me know. ASAP. My sanity would appreciate it.

*I do not actually run red lights. At least on purpose. Although, my brain is so fried right now that I think I will spend today as a shut-in so as to avoid causing any traffic accidents or being cited for any traffic violations.


Quart said...

I am sick of you calling the Magic Swing "magic." You don't need the quotes -it IS magic. You know it is. I'd prefer it if you'd call it the "Magic Swing" from now on. Seriously.

Quart said...

also . . . you can use "that" for that. Don't you remember when Samantha used her massager to vibrate Brady's chair when it died? You gotta try that.

A Mom Two Boys said...

Um...okay. My only thought is to use "that" I'd have to go "there" and I'm pretty sure they don't allow children. What kind of mother do you think I am? :0)

Quart said...

That's a good point. People keep telling me about this crazy new thing called the "Internet." You should check it out, blogger. I mean, if you get desperate.