November 19, 2007

Killing Them Softly...With Hard Plastic

Yet another recall today...this one is for toy bins, not the exact ones in Dylan's room, but something similar. Apparently an 8 month old pulled them over and suffocated...scary to think about since Zach will be in the Crawling-Getting-Into-Everything Mode in the not too distant future (sooner than I care to think about). Christmas is going to be pretty un-fun this year, what with the threat of death, dismemberment or serious illness that looms with each new toy purchase. That's sad to me for many reasons. Mostly because this will be the first year that Dylan gets the whole present thing and can kind of understand the magic of the Season. It's my favorite Holiday, and I've already started playing Christmas music during our early evening "Dance Parties" in the Living Room (although unlike my sister, I haven't converted my car music to Christmas CD's just yet!). We're still awaiting the return of our beloved James trains from our Thomas sets. "Bames" as Dylan calls him, has been missing for a few months now, following the recall that started it all, well, for us anyway.

So, how do you pick toys out for Christmas that you're sure won't end up as a potential health hazard? I'm not sure, but I'm going to follow some pretty basic rules:
1) Nothing made in China. Or, for that matter, anything that has traveled through China, because you never know what may have happened to it on it's journey that it can't remember now.
2) Nothing with small bits that could potentially break off and pose a choking hazard, even if it is marketed for small children.
3) Nothing with paint, OF ANY KIND, for the small chance that the paint may have been manufactured in China, even if the toy wasn't.
4) Nothing with magnets, because OMG, DON'T you people watch Grey's Anatomy?!
5) Nothing with metal or plastic, even if it is from Pottery Barn, because I'd like my children to keep their fingertips. I'm a good mom like that.
6) No Remote Control Anything, because WTF?


SO, where does that leave us? Well, books are safe, right? NOT! (Did I just type "not"?!)...See here and here for examples of why our children are not even safe with books. The only conclusion I can come to, and I'm sure you're thinking THANK GOD this woman is done with this crazy links post, is that the only safe thing to get our children for Christmas (or Hannukah, Kwaanza, Christmakuh, whatever holiday you celebrate, we're equal opportunity here at M2B) this year is the famous old standby...plain wood blocks. Seems everyone enjoys them and, as far as I can tell, there are no potential safety hazards. Although I'm sure I'll wake up tomorrow and they too will be recalled for some insane reason.

I'm going to go grab a glass of wine and watch my child jump off his bed while holding some scissors. :0) Just Kidding...about the wine and the scissors. I can't make any promises about the jumping off the bed part.

1 comment:

mrlambini said...

Brilliant! Insightful! A modern-day Joan Didion! That's my girl!