Kids Say the Damndest Things...

Okay...so, I have a potty mouth. It's my one vice (well, that and wine). I say bad words ALL the time. I've never smoked a cigarette, I didn't drink until I turned 21, I've never pillaged or murdered anyone. But, I say bad words. I think I'm going to have to stop. Oh MY LORD, I have to stop swearing! What the fudge am I going to do? See?! That sounds fudging stupid! What the freckles am I going to do? Oh Sugar. You should HEAR the thoughts running through my head right now. When I yell at my husband (which happens VERY RARELY*), it's not going to have the same effect. Oh, and the dog? "Dag-Nammit Tahoe!" just doesn't sound as threatening. I'm not sure though, what he hears, being a dog and all.


It's like this old FarSide cartoon:



















Ha! I love Gary Larson.


This is the one that I think about everytime an animal runs in front of my car:



















But, I digress.


I knew once I had kids that the day would come where they would start repeating what I say, like it or not. A few times, Dylan has immediately repeated something he's heard. Like:

Mommy drops a plate: "Oh, Shit!"
Dylan: "Oh, Sit"

Mommy breaks a nail: "CRAP!"
Dylan: "CWAP" (a la "Reba"...I miss that show)


But last night, after spending the entire long weekend outside w/Daddy (who is also known to drop a few (or a thousand-& I am NOT, I repeat NOT blaming him entirely) "F" Bombs every now and then we heard this (Mom: Turn your computer volume UP NOW):






Oh My God...did he just say that? He was watching DJ play "Chess Titans" on the computer (another exciting night at our house). One of DJ's guys got captured and out of the blue, without hearing it from one of us, he says it. "Oh Fudk". Instead of reprimanding him I immediately grabbed the camera to try to get it on film. Is that bad parenting? Well, of course as soon as I started recording he said it, AGAIN. Then he started to tell DJ HOW to play Chess Titans, which was funny, so I kept recording. Let me know if you'd like for me to translate for you. I know it's dark & hard to see, but you're listenting people, LISTENING.

Oy...Son of A Gun (?)...I'm going to TRY to stop swearing. I say TRY because I know it won't happen completely, but I'll do my best.

On another topic, he went outside today to play with Tahoe and when I looked out there he was using his shovel to pick up dog poop. Of course, I had to video that too. He's full of funny things to say now- in complete sentences. At least he calls it Tahoe Poop instead of Tahoe Shit, er Shpoop, right? That will happen soon enough, I'm sure.




Since I haven't written anything about Zach yet...he LAUGHED last night. LAUGHED! It was so cute and adorable and all the gushy things that my older child saying "fudk" is not. It kind of started out sounding like he was trying to poop, but it turned into a laugh. Pretty appropriate given that his smiles start out as frowns. My kids are weird. I'll try to get it on video so you all can enjoy that too.

Oh, and I'm trying out Target's new brand of eco-friendly diapers. Only on Zach, though b/c I'm pretty sure we'd have a huge disaster if I tried them on Dylan, and as I noted here and here, disasters w/Zach are a common occurance and are MUCH smaller and LESS smelly than a Dylan Disaster would be. I'll let you all know what I think...I'm sure you'll be checking back frequently to find out. But, so far so good...they're cheaper than the other ones we've been using-$10 for 40 as opposed to $10 for 30. Diapers are flocking expensive. No, that doesn't work either.

*Oh yeah--I lie too, apparently. Just add that to my list of vices:

1) Wine

2) Lying

3) Swearing (It's been downgraded to 3 & if you need to know why, re-read this post you knucklehead)

P.S.- I totally changed my post times around so that it would all kind of make sense, but I think it might just be more confusing...whatever. I'm leaving it alone now. PUT THE COMPUTER DOWN...