April 8, 2008

Throwing DJ Someone Under The Bus

A few random thoughts:

1) How can DJ someone NOT like Lasagna?
2) How can DJ someone have NEVER heard of Spaghetti & Meatballs until last week?
3) How can DJ someone start snoring SO LOUDLY & SO CONSISTENTLY SO SUDDENLY?
4) How can DJ someone complain about how messy the house is and then come in, open a chocolate, throw the rapper on the counter, kick their shoes off in the middle of the floor and then take their socks off and drop them at the end of the couch and NOT understand why they get the stink eye?
5) How can DJ someone remember almost EVERY single round of golf they've ever played, and practically EVERY SHOT they've ever hit, but not remember what month we're in or what our phone number is?
6) How can DJ someone find any pleasure in watching the 1982 Master's Highlights for the Eleventy Billionth time?
7) How can Daddy's someone's arrival home evoke so much excitement that Dylan goes running outside cackling with glee and when I want to go inside the store with them he FREAKS OUT and cries. I carried him, birthed him, keep his ass clean and fed and I'm totally chopped liver. Except when he needs to pee, then it's ALL Me.
8) What do you want to bet that TONIGHT will be the night that DJ someone special checks in on my blog?


papa-oomau-al said...

I sent someone a fax of your post, then followed up with several urgent emails, a Western Union telegram, numerous voicemails, smoke signals and a gorilla gram. Plus a 30 second spot on the Golf Channel.

Good luck. You may be hearing from him.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

LOL!!! Erase! Erase! Delete!

Um. I totally understand all of your complaints.

Angie said...

It's called selective male eyesight and selective male hearing, male pattern blindness, etc. I have read about it on many blogs these days, must be an epidemic.

I always asked my husband what it feels like to have SOOO much emotion accompany his arrival home from work each day. I don't get that if I have been gone for a weekend.


Z said...

understood. on all but the spaghetti and meatballs, because, really? who hasn't heard of that? ;)

Madge said...

i think they have defective hard drives in their heads

jennifer h said...

Yep, all of it. Livin' the dream.

JCK said...

He will check tonight. You betcha. It's called Blog Karma. BK.

I relate. Oh YEAH. Nothing like Daddy to arrive home (even if he's only been gone for 15 minutes) to commence a rehearsal session for the 2nd coming.

Christy said...

Husbands are irritating.

Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children said...

Because they are STUPID.

EatPlayLove said...

Unfortunately, I offer no advice, for clearly you are preaching to the choir.

Except for the spaghetti and meatballs, that's just plain absurd!

HRH said...

Maybe you could write his phone number on his golf shoes. On his score cards you could write the definition for OBVIOUS foods (spaghetti/meatballs, hamburger, hot dog, etc.) just in case he hasn't heard of those.