April 30, 2008

Cow Alert!

That's my most famous quote ever. I uttered it when we were looking for houses in the beautiful town of Warwick, NY when I was a kid. Maybe 5 or 6. Warwick is described most often as "quaint" and "picturesque" or "boring" and "lame" if you're in high school. But I'm no longer in high school, so I choose to go with "quaint" and "picturesque." See for yourself:

They're all a little tiny, but hopefully you get the point. It's cute. And quaint. And..picturesque. These were borrowed from the website of Nick Zungoli, Warwickian and awesome photographer. Go see for yourself. At the very least you'll get to look at some purdy pictures.

But I digress...what was I talking about again? Oh yes, my famous quote. As we were driving through Warwick I spotted one of the MANY dairy farms with a landscape studded with cows and yelled, to the amusement of my family and our Realtor, "Cow Alert!" It's stuck with me ever since.

My sister's most famous quote ever just HAPPENED to be uttered on National Television. In her early teen years (OH! How I wish I had a picture!) she and a family friend were contestants on the uber-famous game show, Fun House. You KNOW you remember it. JD Roth hosted and the blond twins flashed their pearly whites for all the teenage boys at home to lust after. Ahh...the memories. Anyhoo, it was quite possibly one of the funniest things I can remember about my childhood. Oh, the fun we made of her. She actually wandered off stage at one point. In her defense she was blindfolded (I think she was smashing pies onto her partner's head?), but it was still freakin' hilarious.

Her funniest/most famous quote came during the question and answer session of the game. I can't remember what the question was, but her answer was "Is it...fudge?" The ... is the dramatic pause she took before guessing at fudge. I realize the re-telling of this story is not quite as funny as the memory of the event is in my head. Oh, how we laughed and laughed and LAUGHED at her expense. To this day it still makes me giggle. I think there's a videotape of it somewhere. I'll have to track it down, copy the VHS to DVD and then transfer the DVD to the computer, upload it to Vimeo and share it with all of you. THEN you could laugh along with me. Not with Quart, though. She's still bitter. They didn't win. When I just called her to "fact check", cause you KNOW I'm all about the accuracy, she said, when asked about what they had won, and I quote(ish) "Oh. I was so pissed. We were told we won a $100.00 Toys R'Us Gift Certificate and I was going to buy us a Nintendo, but when the show aired they said we won a $50.00 Gitano Gift Certificate. But all it really was was Gitano clothes worth $50.00. And I got to keep my British Knight shoes. Or BK's as they came to be known." There was much bitterness in her voice as she recalled that. I kind of felt bad for bringing it up. Kind of. But not really because I'm smiling right now just thinking of it.

But, I digress ONCE AGAIN. Where are we so far? Cow Alert! and Is it...fudge? You're probably all starting to wonder why in the hell I'm sharing with you these frivolous and not so funny if you weren't there kind of stories, aren't you? WELL...don't get your panties in a bunch. I'm going to share with you the amusing things Dylan has uttered recently. I know you're excited. Just try to contain yourself. There's a point to all of this at the end. I promise.

  • It's Cookie Time!
  • Can I have candy pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease? -NO- Oh...can I look at it?
  • (While in the living room with me) I need to poop. Get out of hea. You need to go take a shower. So I can poop in hea. (He still poops in a diaper. Not on the floor.)
  • Mmmm...I LOVE cookies! -Do you love Mommy?- Mmmm...yea (shrugs shoulders)
  • Good night! No bugs! (his version of "don't let the bed bugs bite")
  • (At the Car Wash, on our 2nd go round due to some Car Wash technical difficulties) We're going through AGAIN? Oh, Goodness Sakes!

So, that leaves me with two questions for you.

  1. What's YOUR most famous quote ever?
  2. If your baby refused to nap, so you fed him (or her) and he (or she) finally fell asleep and THEN you realized they had soiled their diaper, would you wake them up to change it or let them sleep in a poop filled diaper for a few hours?
I shared my answer to #1, you'll have to guess at #2. Although you know me pretty well by now and probably already know the answer. Coming tomorrow...I recount last night's dinner concoction for you. It's kind of a recipe, although there's really very little cooking involved. Just browning and seasoning some meat. Yes! HRH and Madge, this is for you! And, Z, there's even a vegetarian version! Gear up, ladies. Be prepared to wow your family. Or totally gross them out. It's kind of a weird concoction.

And, since I hear it coming from the other room, and because I'd hate to leave him out, Zach says "DA Ma! DaAAMAaa! Squee! MamamamamDaamamamdadadama! Squee!" which translates, loosely, to something really funny about his mobile. Or his toes. Or both. I'm not quite sure.


Quart said...

Don't you mean it the most famous quote you ever "uddered?"

I actually disagree. You used to say "Plugit" at the end of the Pledge of Allegiance. Every time. In fact, I remember always thinking "Plugit" to myself when we said it in school.

I can't believe you've made me revisit the Fun House nightmare. I hope Andy J. doesn't read this. Even more than he made fun of the fudge quote he would often remind me that I LOST on Fun House. The bright side is that I never said "no" to those "Girls Gone Wild" cameras because I knew Fun House was my 15 minutes and no one would ever see me in the videos. Right?

Z said...

I'm not sure I have a quote... Would have to think about that (or call my mom)

Looking forward to the recipe! YAY!

Also gonna apologize in advance for disappearing for a few days, my defense is on Monday, and yup, the stress level is high! ;)

Cathy said...

1. I was a really bad speller in high school and used to write probably as "probelly" so then my friends and I would use pro-belly instead of probably. My favorite quote of Quinn's is, "I think so." He uses it whenever my husband or I say, "oh, I don't think we can go outside now or I don't think we can blah blah blah," his reponse is always "I think soooo."
2. No. I would not wake up the sleeping baby to change his diaper. Are you crazy? Actually I'm pretty sure you didn't either.

Grandmaother said...

I thought I had buried the pain of Quart LOSING on Fun House - but you've just dredged it all up again.
And Quart - what's this about "Girls Gone Wild"? Call me.

HRH said...

I totally get this and am going to come back and tell you a cow story...ya, sit on the edge of your seat. I will be back.

HRH said...

Alright, I know you have been waiting quietly computerside for this.

I am so into the cow thing. In high school I was obsessed with the black and white cows. So much so that I would have them today if it weren't for the pesky milking them twice a day and I don't even want a normal pet thing. So cow check is such an obviously funny phrase. Duh. In high school we had this Sadie Hawkins event where the girls had to invite guys and it was customary to "send" and invitation via a campus courier. So while all the other girls made up cute romantic little notes of forget me nots, I send a huge poster size "cow-a-gram". It was beautiful. I traced the Far Side Cows onto it. It even had a huge poster size envelope with a cow stamp on it. What about a cow-a-gram doesn't say romance? He said "Yes". We had a so-so time and I haven't seen him since. Guess a cow-a-gram doesn't guarantee romance, but I certainly wouldn't have gone out with a guy that didn't think that getting a cow-a-gram was the best.

So please check "yes" for cow check.

HRH said...

Addendum to the last comment, please insert "Cow Alert" in the place of "cow check". Thanks.

EatPlayLove said...

oddly enough I had a cow thing in high school as well . i may just have to send you a pic of the painting i did.

please do not leave baby in poop. ouchy, rashy, painful screaming bottom will ensue. let's just say i know from experience.

-still coming up with a quote...

Tootsie Farklepants said...

I love how my daughter says "actually". She says "adjically". So that's how we all say it now too.

And sometimes I'll say "pry" instead of probably just to bug the snot out of Mr. Farklepants. The mispronunciation of "probably" is a pet peeve of his.

The diaper? I changed them. But only because of that one time I didn't and my son ended up with a nasty case of diaper rash. And I got a nasty case of guilt. I understand the temptation to wait.

JCK said...

Better be careful, your sister might have some video goods on you!

Pooping during nap. I changed when they slept deeply. Later, BOY changed himself from poop diaper. Far worse.

No quotes today.

Jennifer H said...

I'll have to think about the quote. Does singing the wrong words to a song count?

As for the diaper, a very careful change. But I've made the mistake of not changing, poor baby.