February 20, 2008

The Full Moon Can Kiss My Ass

I don't really buy into all that lunar bullsh*t, birth signs, tarot cards, palm readers, etc., but today? Today I think there might be something to it. Tonight is a full moon (and a full lunar eclipse no less) and I've had 20 hours of nothing but friggin' headaches. Not actual headaches, but figurative, this situation is a pain in the ass, headaches.

We've having tile laid in our dining room/kitchen area. The floor has been 1/2 linoleum and half concrete for the past year and a half. (The story behind that is coming, trust me. With lots of pictures, with captions!) We bought this beautiful porcelain tile in June of 2006 and made sure to order plenty so that we would have enough when we finally got around to laying it. So what happened? Yep. We're short. WAY freakin' short. Somehow we either mis-measured (DJ) or mis-ordered (Me). So, there's this bare part in front of the sink/dishwasher/door to garage area. I called to order more tile. Yep. No longer available. Lots of scratching of heads, chins and frowning later, we gave up and called it a night.

I spent this morning on the phone with the manufacturer/importer in SPAIN with them giving me the numbers of different tile stores throughout the U.S. who had ordered the tile within the last year, and MIGHT still have some in stock. Fingers crossed. But alas, no.

OH! And before I got on the phone with Spain this morning? Zach threw up ALL OVER himself. And me! And the couch! And the floor!*

And now back to my tile saga. So, with my tail between my legs, the boys and I headed over to the tile store to talk to my tile lady (is it bad that she remembers me from 1 1/5 years ago?) and get some ideas for WHAT THE HELL TO DO WITH MY BARE SPOT. After much discussion and picture drawing by me, and a trip to the bathroom for Dylan (!), we finally decided on laying down tile that looks like wood. My hope is that, when we go to sell the house, the people who buy it will just think we made a bad design choice instead of thinking we're complete assholes who spent a shitload of money on tile and couldn't freaking order the right amount.

OH! And while we were at the tile store? Dylan decided to be a pain in the ass. They have this cool castle built with manufactured stone product with toys in it to keep the little guys occupied while their parents make shitty design choices pick out their tile. He decides that he doesn't want to play with the blocks IN the castle, he wants to play with them by me. So he starts to pull the little wagon-y block holder over to me. I tell him "No, you need to leave those in the castle and play with them there." To which he replies "NO. I don't want to" and do you know what he does? The little bastard DUMPS the wagon-y thing out on the floor in the middle of the tile showroom. I almost killed him. I dragged him and the wagon-y thing back to the castle and bent down to give him a piece of my mind when, WHAP! OW!, I smack my forehead into the book shelf.

So, now my figurative headache has become a full blown REAL headache and my beautiful tile floor is costing me an extra $250.00. Right on.

Like I said, the full moon can kiss my ass.

*Don't worry Grandmaother, I think Zach threw up because he coughed really hard, not because he's coming down with some stomach bug. Although the stomach bug would not surprise me one bit. Just add it to my list of headaches.


HRH said...

OMG. I am so sorry. That totally sucks.

Anonymous said...

Should I return the wagon-y thing I got Dylan for his birthday?
Will Dylan be allowed to have a birthday?
Wait a minute - wasn't it his birthday when all this started?
I'm seeing a trend.

Grandmaother (not anonymous but technologically challenged.)

Angie said...

"It's raining. It's pouring. The old man is..." Nevermind. That is my weak attempt at humor for the old phrase "when it rains, it pours." I should have just said it.

Here's hoping tomorrow is better. Here's hoping it looks okay in the end. Here's hoping you get to enjoy a supah-good bottle of wine tonight.


papa-oomau-al said...

Sell the house, move to Mongolia, and live in a yurt. By Mongolianic decree yurts cannot have tile floors, plus they provide very limited design choices, so it's hard to eff up.

Oh, and The Discovery Channel described Mongol women as NEVER getting headaches (something to do with the lack of both design choices and grout dust, I think).

Re: the lunar eclipse - we're clouded-in and expecting freezing rain tonight. Count your blessings, and here's hoping your headache has ended. Bye for now!

Z said...

Oh, I'm sorry... That really sucks.

Here's hoping all gets better with the turning of the moon!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Oh dear. I am sorry.

Anonymous said...

No, I'm sorry, I have to chime in here. My sons, especially A, go absolutely batsnot during a full moon. This month hasn't been so bad, but last month I swear I was going to sell them for parts. Cheap. I've asked A's OT...yup, she sees a difference, and so does my friend the ER nurse.
And when we resurface our floors, hopefully this summer, I'm hiring someone to do the math. ; )

Lulu said...

Not only was it a full moon, but it was red. And obviously very, very evil.