January 30, 2008

My List(s) & A Few Recaps

A few weeks ago, Y, she of Joy Unexpected, wrote a post where she put certain people/things On Notice. I liked it, and I'm going to copy it. So, without further ado, here is a rundown of people on...

My List:

Dr. Phil
George W. Bush
Britney Spears (if you don't get your shit together and SHOW UP for a custody hearing, so help me god, I will track you down and DRAG your ass there. I'm pretty sure I can take down that pansy ass you call a friend Sam Lufti. Oh, and while I'm on you, I think you look really pretty with dark brown hair.)
Fred Phelps (I know, I just can't let it go)
Zach, for acting like he watned to cuddle and then spitting up DOWN MY SHIRT
John Gibson (In fact, the entire Fox News Team)
Whoever invented Cheese
Whoever invented Dora the Explorer
Whoever invented Caillou
Dylan, for peeing TWO DROPS on the potty, throwing his hands up in the air, proclaiming "I DID IT!" and then getting up and peeing all over the carpet not two minutes later, in effect saying "F-You, Mom."
The Gopher who ate one of my plants last week
*I'm sure there are MANY more, but in an effort to get something productive done today, I'm going to stop there.

The List #2. You know, "The List" that I referred to here. The one from Friends, where you get to pick 5 celebrities that you are allowed to, um, do the deed with, without consequence, if you ever have the opportunity. Ross took Isabella Rosselini off his list because she was too "international" and then she showed up at Central Perk. Remember? That one?

Since I know you've been DYING to find out who my 4 & 5 picks are, here you go:

1) George Clooney
2) Jake Gyllenhaal
3) Clive Owen
4) Johnny Depp
5) John Krasinski

I'm going to have to print it out and get it laminated.

Okay, so that abruptly ends our story. I'm going to go show, get gussied up, drop the kids off somewhere and head to LA.

Just kidding. Kind of.

Now on to the Recaps...

JCK over at Motherscribe took it upon herself to get us caught up on Lost. It's on tomorrow, and it's NEW! That means, for those of you who have forgotten what NEW TV is, it's one that we've NEVER SEEN BEFORE. I know! It's amazing. It's awesome. It's...It's SO EXCITING!

And, since I never link to her and her readership is SO pathetic, I thought I'd let you all know that Pioneer Woman has posted a little, itty bitty re-cap of "Black Heels to Tractor Wheels." She promises to post another thrilling chapter soon.


So, there's all that. There's MORE? You ask, eyes wide with anticipation. Yes! There is! I have a bunch of toddlers coming over tomorrow, friends coming over for the Super Bowl on Sunday and a bunch of babies coming over on Tuesday, but I'm going to widdle away my morning here. Sounds like a great plan, right? FlyLady would not be proud.

This was a conversation I had with Dylan at 6:30 yesterday morning.
Not Right Now, I'm Busy from AMomTwoBoys on Vimeo.

And Yes, I know. I nag. Sue me.

I have another video I'd love to share with you, but it contains gratuitous nekkid little b*y scenes (can you imagine if google sent someone here who was searching for THAT? Ew). Okay, so not so much gratuitous, but I'm trying to figure out how to fix it so that you don't have to look at his "peanut" for the 30 seconds it took me to remember he was naked. We're potty training people, and sometimes naked is just easier. Am I right?

I learned something about myself this week. My effort to organize and de-clutter has temporarily caused me to be MORE disorganized. And, I apparently think that baskets are the key to my success. TJ Maxx can thank me later when they do their monthly basket selling assessment. I will have single handedly put them over the top on basket sales. Oh, and socks. There is apparently something that precludes me from throwing out mateless socks. Especially cute little baby sized ones. I had my living room floor COVERED with the damn things this week. It was a disaster. I finally just threw my hands up in the air, said a hail mary (my house was struck by lightning shortly thereafter) and threw them away. In the outside garbage. It was a big step.

And now that I think I've successfully written the longest, most non-sensical post ever, I will be done. I must go shower, clean and grocery shop, which will allow me to successfully host two playgroups and a friendly little get together in the next 5 days. Wish me luck.


Christy said...

I like your list of people/things on notice. Do you watch the Colbert Report? He has a list of people/things "On Notice." If they don't improve their act, they go on the "You're Dead to Me" list.

Slow Panic said...

i like your people on notice list. i think i agreed with everything -- of course not your little boy and the whole pee on the floor thing. so been there. when we were close to reaching potty training status with my oldest he was almost four. yes i said four. he stood in front of the bathroom door buck naked and started to let loose. i said "oh no you do not!!" picked him up, pee flying EVERYWHERE in an arc and planted him in front of the toilet. even though we'd tried for two years, this was when the light bulb went off and he got it.....

JCK said...

Now, don't you feel LIGHTER after posting all that! Surely you do!

The fact that Dylan peed 2 drops in the potty is HUGE. No matter the rest is on the floor. Really. REALLY. Focus on the positive. Be proud. It is coming. :)

Good for you decluttering. Baskets are key. You can toss in a bunch of junk and forget about it. Oh, that's not what you are supposed to do?

I enjoyed your ON NOTICE list.

As far as your boyfriend list, I LIKE, but am completing blanking on who John Krasinkski is.

And LOST is a little more than 24 hours away. PANT. PANT. Can't wait! I haven't watched TV in weeks, except for political news and an occasional new episode of "Grey's Anatomy."

Angie said...

Good Lord, woman. I think you talk more than me. HOLY COW! I haven't been able to post a comment recently due to all your political posts and you and I differ A LOT on our political views. I do, however, agree with watching anything on TV with a bottle of wine in hand.

A Mom Two Boys said...

Christy- love Colbert. & Jon Stewart.

SP- We're getting there. He's trying and I'm trying, too. It's a joint effort. It wouldn't have been such a big deal if we'd been home, but we were at the shop and it was just totally inconvenient.

jck- Oh, I have so much more on my mind it's scary. Very scary. John Krasiniski is from The Office. Jim. I Heart Jim.

Angie- say it ain't so! Don't let the fact that you disagree with me keep you from commenting. It certainly doesn't stop my father in law from arguing with me on a regular basis! That's the point of what I've been trying to say. We can all disagree, but we still need to be able to coexist and live together peacefully.

grandamother said...

I know for a fact you have nothing against cheese.
Is it because you like it TOO much?

HRH said...

Good Lord. What did Dr. Phil do to make the TOP of you list ABOVE the president? Is he eating small children between takes? As for the potty training...good luck, you have BOYS. I couldn't watch the video because my computer is sick too and running at the warp speed of a Commodore 64. I thought Clive was the guy on HGTV with the Lisa Designed to Sell show. Just kidding.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Good luck! And I like both of your lists. Very much.

Quart said...

I'm still pissed you stole Clive Owen from me. Seriously? As long as you keep your little paws off of Colin Firth WE will be able to coexist peacefully. Ok, now I'm going to get gussied up and head to London.

Quart said...

Oh -and I was reading "Parents" at the OB today and it recommended moving the potty to where your kid is comfortable. It said to put it in front of the TV if you thought he'd be happier there. (I think it specifically said "TV." I may have just pictured that since that's where my kid spends most of HIS time. Seeing as how Dora and Caillou are on your list I assume it's the same with Dylan).

Angie said...

I read every day (multiple times since you often post more than once). Just don't comment every day. I just felt that your blog is YOUR panel, YOUR opinion, YOUR soapbox. I will just put smart-a@* remarks now when you post something so stupid politically. LOL! It's hard to know how someone is going to take you that you have never met when you are reading what they wrote, Ya know?