Peeps are Kuh-Razee

Or, maybe it's just me for watching it on TV.

I turned to TLC at 12:17pm today expecting to see another riveting, informative episode of What Not to Wear. Sadly, it was a riveting, not really informative episode of Bringing Home Baby. Of course, I sat here and watched it (Zach was eating, so I wasn't being completely lazy). Then, at 12:30 yet another episode of Bringing Home Baby came on. Uh oh, it's MLK day, which means TLC random show marathon. I sat here and watched that one too. I was trying to dis-entangle something that had been horribly disfigured in the dryer, which, with Dylan's "help" took me almost the full half hour and included a few slips of curse words, one swat at his diapered ass, followed by a few tears and some hugs.

Then 1 o'crazy came. A new series of TLC shows called, wait for it...Kids by the DOZEN. Yes, you heard correctly, DOZEN. Each episode, and there are four airing in a row, profile different families with 12 or MORE kids. And NONE of the episodes focus on that crazy nice family with, like 32 children. Who are they? Oh yes, Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar. Nope, not about them. There are, apparently, more people out there who reproduce without stopping. The first family was, shall we say, a little strange. They seemed nice enough, they drive a re-conditioned school bus around Colorado and their oldest daughter, GASP!, doesn't speak to them. Huh. Oh, and the best part was that they were throwing one HUGE birthday party for all the kids. They spent $130.00 on food for the 150 people coming to their party. I kid you not. That's just the ALCOHOL bill for my parties. (Remember, mark your calendars for March 15th.)

The second family, currently being profiled, seem like nice, normal people. Apparently mom & dad like to, you know, Boom Chika Bow Wow and don't, apparently, believe much in birth control. Anyhoo, the basis of their story is that their oldest, at 18, is presently getting ready to leave for college. Mom's bummed, cause, how, HOW will she keep herself busy with only 11 children at home? Oddly enough, the oldest kid seems like the nicest, most thoughtful 18 year old kid I've ever seen. A BOY. EIGHTEEN. With 11 younger siblings, thoughtful and nice. Wow. I might have to track down his parents and ask them how they did it. Not the 12 kids part, cause NO THANK YOU, but the whole raising thoughtful, nice boys part.

Especially today. Cause mine? Not so thoughtful or nice. I've been yelled at, grunted at, cried at, pointed at, frowned at and pretty much boo-hoo'd at. It's been a real treat. In an effort to, I think, keep me from giving them up for adoption, Zach decided that today would be the day that he'd get all cuddly. You know, not "I'm a baby and I'm cuddly by nature" cuddly, but, "I'm 5 months old now, aware of my surroundings, I LURVE my mommy and I'm tired, so I'm going to cuddle my head into her shoulder" cuddly. Oh Good God, I totally melted. It was so sweet. That made me decide to keep Dylan around. Cause, you know, he was like that once too. And Zach enjoys his company. So do I, sometimes, I guess.

***
Dylan just came out from his "nap" which consisted of playing with his trains and the dog. Hmmm...what's that smell? Oh. Nap time consisted of pooping WHILE playing with his trains.

Me: Dylan, did you poop?
Dylan: No, don't touch me. Don't touch that, it's mine.
Me: Don't touch what? What's yours?
Dylan: My poop. It's mine. Don't touch my diaper. (Yelling Now) DON'T TOUCH MY DIAPER. I'm going to dump this out. Proceeds to dump out entire basket of Mega Bloks.

***
Lesson: People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I'm just as Kuh-razee as the rest of em, I just don't have 12 kids to prove it.