**Updated at 10:57am to have pictures of vicious killing machines, not links that don't work, oh, and to correct how I spell vicious. I spell good uzualy.**
Hi! I'm back. I know you missed me terribly. TERRIBLY. It was hard for you, I'm sure, and I apologize. I actually LEFT my computer at HOME (on purpose!) when we went to Palm Springs. I know! Crazy. It was probably a good thing because, given my new found kid freedom, I made the poor decision to drink EXCESSIVE amounts of alcohol on Thursday night. Who KNOWS what I would have blogged about had I had the opportunity. Drunk Dialing would have had nothing on me! You all would have been in for a real treat, I'm sure. Unfortunately for you, I was without internet access, and more importantly, a computer, so there was no drunk blogging. Maybe I can convince GP to take the kids again one of these nights and I can stay home and get sloppy and blog. Keep your fingers crossed!
I've actually been back since Friday night, but yesterday was such a busy day that I decided I'd extend my "Blog Vacation" a few extra hours. For recluse home bodies, we've had a busy few weeks. Two baby showers and a birthday party. I had to pry Dylan, practically kicking and totally screaming, away from a party yesterday. There was a HUGE bounce house and all sorts of cool boy toys that he doesn't have, so he was in heaven. It totally inspired me for his upcoming Birthday party. I have big plans. BIG. PLANS. And, you're all invited. So, start planning your trip now. It's March 15th (it's written on my PW Calendar, in ink), and direct flights into Santa Barbara airport are even available from SOME cities. Not many, but you can always connect. We know how easy that is to do with children.
Oh, and when we got back we got GREAT news! GREAT news. Our neighbors were ROBBED! ROBBED! Our NEIGHBORS! The people TWO DOORS DOWN. OMG. I need ADT, okay, maybe not ADT, but some sort of other home security company. As if I didn't have enough to be nervous about already. My quiet, peaceful, SAFE neighborhood is no more. What is this world coming to? If I would allow DJ to have a gun in the house I'd be sleeping with the damn thing under MY pillow. You know, so that when Dylan crawls into bed with me he can accidentally discharge it and shoot me. That's always fun. So, I'll be signing up shortly for a $199.00 installation, $30.00 a month alarm system. Plus we're getting a guard dog. Don't you have a dog? you might ask. Yes, yes I do. And he's huge. He weighs 112 pants and is sure to scare the living day lights out of any MoFo who tries to break into my house. Except for one tiny problem. He's a pansy ass. He'd be more likely to lick the damn burglar to death upon entry than to, oh, I don't know, bark or growl. I'm getting me a trained killing machine. Like a chihuahua or a MinPin. Now those are dogs that will bark and maybe, just maybe, put off a burglar.
Or this one...Oh, wait. That second one is one I actually want. Crap. Now how can I convince DJ to let me go to Santa Barbara and adopt an adorable 3 month old puppy. Any suggestions? It's for the protection of my family. She looks vicious, right?
Now I must go and scheme my way into getting that puppy. Oh lord, I want that
Oh, and in case you're totally out of the loop, Pioneer Woman posted another thrilling edition of "Black Heels to Tractor Wheels" on Friday. And, in case you care, I think I'm going to get ambitious and make something for dinner from Pioneer Woman Cooks. Like the lasagna. Is it dinner time yet?